Juliet is incomprehensible when she sees Romeo’s body on the floor. He dies. He flees the tomb and leave Juliet behind. Juliet finds the poison vial in Romeo’s hand, and chides him for not leaving enough poison for her. When she kisses his lips to see if there is any remaining poison left on them. Hearing more sounds of the watchmen, Juliet comes to her own triumphant, tragic and fateful end. Faithful till death, she picks up Romeo’s dagger, stabs herself in the chest, and inevitably joins her love in marriage-death. Yes, Romeo and Juliet were death. They were death arms in arms. What’s a wonderful scenario here? They were death because of the poison, yet they died worthily.

I (Blake, Tennyson, Henley, Browning, and Hardy) exactly know the reasons led to the death of the sweet couples, which are the conflict between two families, the social different status, and life-punishment. However, this girl, an innocent girl, she is apparently just die of the poison, a heroin overdose. Her look was very sad and pity. She should be happy and fresh under sun instead of dying in this manner. Who has killed her? What caused her death? How could this happen to the girl? Oh God, please tell me why.

“Are God and Nature then at strife” to make this scenario to happen to this little girl? I doubt there is the presentation of “God within the soul”. I doubt everyone is “being loved” equally. Devils usually live long, but good human beings. I don’t think you care of our fates, God. “Careless of the shingle life”- you are not there when we need you. I have been struggling to find the answer for myself “who controls my faith”. I have been searching and fumbling, but all left me with the unclear answers. I thought God created us and would save us. I put my destiny into God because I thought God would love me and give me all happiness. However, I was wrong. God is not all around to save me but put more challenge and pressure on me. He created Nature to stop my dream and destroy my hope. God has “spirit”, but Nature isn’t. Nature is not care of the species. I cry for my fate. I cry for the careless of both God and Nature. I know I am not that lucky “seed” that is chosen out of fifty to grow. Therefore, I am careless of all. Let my felling is “Lord of all”. “I care for nothing, and all shall go.” Life is “frail” and incomplete. Thus, let’s face with it. Sooner or later, we must face with the circle of life: Birth, oldness, illness, and death. No more “a child” in “doubt” and “fear”. Be “the strong hands” to “reach through nature”. Read the rest of this entry »

What do you feel if you don’t have what everyone-the human being, has? Especially when you were young and innocent? Are you going to be jealous or just feel bad for yourself? I have had many schemas during my lifetime. However, there is one thing, the boldest schema, which never fades away in my mind and roots deeply in my soul. At five years of age, I had a full perception about life and relationship. I could realize I had a family and human life. However, it was also the period of time I first received a deep emotional pain. “Daddy, daddy, daddy back home from work”, Tuan yelled joyfully. I had heard that every evening from Tuan-my next-door friend. He ran quickly and jumped into his father. They held each other tightly and shared a sweet love. I could realize how much they missed each other during the haft day they were separated and how happy their family was. I could hear Thanh was laughing. I could hear he coddled himself with his father for what he wanted during the dinner “Daddy, I want this. Daddy, I wanted that”. A haft day of separation was not a long period of time. They didn’t know I had been separated from my Dad my whole life. They didn’t know their happy and warm scenario had left a painful scar in my heart. They didn’t know their smiles were my tears. They didn’t know their happiness was my sadness. Was I jealous or did I just feel pity for myself? Not either one of them, but both. How many times had I wished I could be Thanh- a lucky child? I couldn’t remember and I didn’t expect much as well. My wish was so humble. I wished I could hold my dad in my arms once, just once. I would look at his face and say, “Daddy, I love you”. Nevertheless, it would never happen. I just wished I could be a dim regular star in the vast universe. However, it was just a fantasy. I, myself, was still a dying star-a pity child. I had cried too much but not enough for how much pain I had to endure inside of my soul. I had acted so quietly and weirdly. I felt like there was no room in this world for me-separation. Why did it happen to me? How were things in this world so unfair? Why did I have to suffer this feeling and destiny? How could I find the land that I lost, my father? Twelve years later, i have caught this scenario again. My little sister-in-law has acted just like Tuan 12 years go. However, i don’t feel what i used to feel. I feel happy for her and my dad, but not a pity feeling for me. I think I’m old and educated enough to realize why “there are bright and dim stars in the universe”. Every single human being has her/his own destiny. No matter it is lucky or unlucky, pleaze live happy and optimistic, pleaze be brave to overcome your faith. Life and nature treat you good somehow. And keep an important thing in mind that “you can find the happiness within the sadness.” The sadness makes your happiness more meaningful. That is what i have experienced. …2003