Juliet is incomprehensible when she sees Romeo’s body on the floor. He dies. He flees the tomb and leave Juliet behind. Juliet finds the poison vial in Romeo’s hand, and chides him for not leaving enough poison for her. When she kisses his lips to see if there is any remaining poison left on them. Hearing more sounds of the watchmen, Juliet comes to her own triumphant, tragic and fateful end. Faithful till death, she picks up Romeo’s dagger, stabs herself in the chest, and inevitably joins her love in marriage-death. Yes, Romeo and Juliet were death. They were death arms in arms. What’s a wonderful scenario here? They were death because of the poison, yet they died worthily.

I (Blake, Tennyson, Henley, Browning, and Hardy) exactly know the reasons led to the death of the sweet couples, which are the conflict between two families, the social different status, and life-punishment. However, this girl, an innocent girl, she is apparently just die of the poison, a heroin overdose. Her look was very sad and pity. She should be happy and fresh under sun instead of dying in this manner. Who has killed her? What caused her death? How could this happen to the girl? Oh God, please tell me why.

“Are God and Nature then at strife” to make this scenario to happen to this little girl? I doubt there is the presentation of “God within the soul”. I doubt everyone is “being loved” equally. Devils usually live long, but good human beings. I don’t think you care of our fates, God. “Careless of the shingle life”- you are not there when we need you. I have been struggling to find the answer for myself “who controls my faith”. I have been searching and fumbling, but all left me with the unclear answers. I thought God created us and would save us. I put my destiny into God because I thought God would love me and give me all happiness. However, I was wrong. God is not all around to save me but put more challenge and pressure on me. He created Nature to stop my dream and destroy my hope. God has “spirit”, but Nature isn’t. Nature is not care of the species. I cry for my fate. I cry for the careless of both God and Nature. I know I am not that lucky “seed” that is chosen out of fifty to grow. Therefore, I am careless of all. Let my felling is “Lord of all”. “I care for nothing, and all shall go.” Life is “frail” and incomplete. Thus, let’s face with it. Sooner or later, we must face with the circle of life: Birth, oldness, illness, and death. No more “a child” in “doubt” and “fear”. Be “the strong hands” to “reach through nature”.
I wish I could see this girl on the playground instead of covering herself in her room and enduring innermost feelings. She should be treated equally as other girls. God should be there to stop her using heroin overdose. Oh God, I don’t want to see any dying person, especially young girls whom are new seeds under sun. God, didn’t you love her? Why didn’t you help her “out of darkness”? Why didn’t you help her gain the power on “her hands” to overcome her fate? I know each human being must be strong and tough, but you should challenge the elders instead of this little girl. Her mind is like a blank paper. She needs someone to teach her and show her how to control her life. You shouldn’t take away her breaths while she really wants to breath. She may cry desperately before the death. She may really need someone to be beside her at the moment. Only you could help her, God. You may give her a person, who was walking across her house to help her at the moment? Unfortunately, you ignored it or you just didn’t recognize it. I know I can’t put all responsibility on you. I know you have the reasons to make things happen in this world. Should I just pray for her and then forget everything because she may have a better life after “crossing the bar”? Moreover, he may see you,” the pilot”, face to face and you will lead her the best way to the heaven, where is without “sadness of farewell”.

She is “meek”. She is “mild”. She is beautiful, new, and “bright” in the sunlight. She is like “a little lamb”, very precious and lovely. In fact, she is just a “child” who needs love and being loved. She wanted to open the doors and see the new world. Moreover, she definitely wanted to live. What influence and authority have killed this pretty girl? Is it the “Tyger”, the Devil that “fearful”, “dread, and powerful, who want to kill her? No, it is none of all. There was no real “Tyger” around her; but it was just a “Tyger” deep inside of her heart. Her parents should care of her a little bit. If they spent a little time with her and treated her sweet, then this heart-rending scenario shouldn’t happen to her. I know everyone must work hard to get money. However, family time is also really important. Parents should know what she wanted, needed, and felt. She didn’t want stuff. She just needed a sweet love from her parents. She just wanted her parents care of her and treated her as “a little lamb”. Parents should know how she feels and what is going on inside of her soul. The “garden of love” is the family. The “green” is relationship. She thirsted for a day, when she could open “the garden of love” to play on “the green”. She had waited for the day to come, wait, wait, and wait; yet it had never come. The doors were shut. Her parents left her alone or have conflict with her. “Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate are necessary to Human existence.” However, they should find the way to come closed each other instead of separation. Lovely days she had to endure and heroin was the only way to lead her to “garden of love” and her only friend. She is young; she couldn’t open the door of perception by herself. She couldn’t fully control her fate and couldn’t realize what is good and bad. She was turning into heroin user. She was turning into a bad way of her life where the young girl shouldn’t go. She died in the way she shouldn’t be. She should have a “heaven” instead of “hell”.

Children “fear death”. Sure they do. When I was young, I couldn’t sleep without my mom because I was afraid Ghost would take my spirit way. I feared of “the power of the night”. I always kept my eyes closed until the morning because I didn’t want to see the darkness, the “Hell” with many imaginations. I could hear “the press of the storm” in my ears, the dreadful melody. My hands were shaken. My tears were dropped. “Mom, could you hold me tightly?” I yelled. I was wondering whether it is the “Hell” where everyone would go after death. I feared “of pain, darkness, and cold”. Why would I have to go where I don’t want to go? Or it was just my life and my destiny? Many wonders had come up in my mind but I couldn’t answer until I was old enough to realize there is the presentation of God in this world. Everyone must suffer the death. However “the worst turns the best” at the end. People should live well and fear nothing since the death is just a beginning of a new circle of life which may be the heaven where we will have all what we want and a fulfill life. God will love good persons.

“Everyone must die once, so why don’t I live freely instead?” It is what this girl might think about? Is it the reason why she had found the drug? She killed herself because she didn’t realize death is fearful and scared. She believed drug couldn’t kill her. Her parents should educate her about anti-drug when she was little; teaching her how harmful it is, showing her the result of overdose heroin is death, then pointing out that drug users are bad and they have to go to the fearful “Hell” after death so that she are scared and never think about drug. Lecture her about God and how He treats good and bad persons differently.

Nevertheless, I don’t believe this little girl had her “believe” in God. She had suffered a difficult life and tried to get over it, but she couldn’t. An innocent mind is easily affected by circumstances. She believed if there was the presentation of God, then she would have a beautiful life instead of her suffered life. God is just “fantasy”. She had tried to believe but she “couldn’t find“ the sign of God anywhere in her soul. She felt like God had left her out. God gave the inspiration to people but her. God gave people “joy” but her. God became “a mystery” to “a strange destiny” like her. God loved the “loved ones”, not her. She wasn’t happy being “a bird beshorn of wings” because God didn’t help her to get up when she was down. God wasn’t around.

Thus, she thought God wasn’t a supreme being to control her faith, yet the circumstances. “If but some vengeful god would call her” or bad things happen to her, she would accept it instead of claiming God as the reasons. She believed what were going on in this world affected her life and caused her life being bad. Then if the worst thing happened, she would “bear it” and “die”. She would find her own joy in the pain, -“unblooms the best hope ever sown”. It was drug. It was her joy. It was her hope and chance to overcome the “suffering things”. She thought she could fully control of her “faith” and her life would be better without God’s help because God wasn’t fair. Therefore, she “never expected much” on God, but she “kept faith” to herself. She believed what she had believed. She still kept using drug as her only friend and joy. She didn’t know she would die if she used overdose drug. She didn’t know she would have a painful ending. Only God knew. She didn’t know how to turn into “new ways” when she knew she was walking on the wrong way, yet kept going. I wish there was someone who could show her the best way to go. I wish there was someone who could teach her how to control her faith and told her that her life is so precious. I wish and I wish, but it never happened and she had to receive a sad ending.

The path of life is tough and challenged, especially at the beginning when we don’t know how and where to start. A blank paper needs to be written whatever to become a notebook. However, no one guarantees that paper is going to be good or bad; it depends on the one who write on it-the circumstances. Unfortunately, the circumstances turned out not as what she expected. What she wanted wasn’t what she got, but what she didn’t want was what she got. As a result, I saw a falling green leaf at spring.

If no one could help me, if God don’t help me, then I should stand up by myself. I know “Life is a blunder and a shame”. Many things have made my life so sorrowful. Many things sometime turn me into a desperado. Many things “drab to my soul”, and “drab to the very daylight.” Sometime I feel like I have no way to escape, no way I can survive in this world. This situation is similar to the girl. She had found herself a non-outlet path of life. She wanted to stop using drug, but how could she? With “angry and sore”, she had to admit that her life would come the end shortly. Why didn’t she realize it at the beginning or she just couldn’t have good perception? Well, everyone in this world is imperfect because we are not Lords or Gods. Yeah, I admit there is nothing wrong with it as long as we know how to control our fate and overcome the imperfection that exists in our heart. If I were she, I would try to stop using drug. If I failed, I would try it harder next time because I knew that “a failure is just another step leads to succeed”. No one could help her. So what? Thanks for “whatever gods may be”. Don’t care about it. She should stand up by herself. She should believed in her “unconquerable soul” which is never being overcome. She should believe in her strength, which are strong and tough. Be “Unafraid” of “the Horror of the shade”, be not scared the “punishment of nature”, and unbowed to “the bludgeoning of chance”. Don’t cry for our destinies. Save our “tears” to wipe out the difficult challenges. I wish she could understand these things. I wished she could realize that she is “the captain of her soul”. Please open the door of perception to see the wonderful world. There are many good things out there. Please live with trusts and optimizes. Everyone could ignore us. God could ignore us, but we shouldn’t ignore ourselves. A boat can sail without the seamen, but can’t without the captain. Yes, I am “the master of my fate”. She is the master of her fate. However, she had died and died badly because she didn’t have the ability to be a captain. The boat of her life had sunk.

Her death made me feel bad about life and about this current society. The more people work, the less of joy they have. The more money people make, the less of love they share. The more things they suffer, the less outcomes they care. I had seen “Romeo and Juliet”. I have seen they died for a forever love. Their deaths were so meaningful. I also have seen “this little girl”. I have seen her death because of drug. This makes me hurt, and left a painful scar deep in my heart. Her death was so meaningless because many possible things could help her prevent this scenario happen. Unfortunately, what comes will come and she has died at a young age. I have a precious lesson to bring back to my old time. I will tell my children this story. The figure of the little girl will exist forever in my heart………….2003